-Sometimes time passes by so slowly at work I expect to walk outside and see flying cars and giant squid men whipping a herd of malnourished humans to pull their wagons faster.
-That's a funny cliche- the aliens taking over the Earth and forcing humans to do beast of burden slave labor. These aliens have the technology to traverse the stars and enslave all mankind but they can't move rocks around or plow their own fields?
-Sometimes I worry that when I die every bug I've ever killed will be waiting for me. And they'll all be 15x their normal size.
-Don't worry America. Katy Perry has "got it on lock".
-The design of the human body/evolution is an amazing thing. The fact that our bodies process things that grow here on this planet into energy, our ability to think, the complexity and efficiency of our immune systems given the number of germs we come in contact with. But there's a few major design flaws/evolutionary failures in each of our bodies:
-The food that is the best for your health tastes the worst and the most delicious food is the worst for you- the taste buds could have been made/evolved a little better there.
-You sweat when you are hot, but also when you're nervous, and that sweating can easily make a person hotter and more nervous. It's a vicious cycle.
-men's nipples. gross.
-I'd rather watch 10 people who suck at dancing go crazy trying to breakdance than 100 of the most technically sound dancers do some routine.
-I can definitely relate to George Costanza when he refers to his wallet as an "old friend". Except instead of being morbidly obese mine has leprosy.
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