Don't Burn the Artichoke!

I was looking for a night light to use for the living room (and to ward off monsters) when I came across a "nite lite.".*  The light did not weigh any less than a normal night light, nor was was it smaller or containing less calories than the " 'gh' no 'e' " version.  Whoever stared the whole "I'm going to misspell things so they'll be cuter or more apealling to the illiterate" craze, you get a very big thumbs down from me.  And not in the "I would kill you if you were in a Roman Gladiator fight" kind of way, more like the "your movie sucks" way.


Also, I have an idea.  Since license plates are there to help us identify cars, mostly for wrongdoings, I'm thinking the current system needs to change.  "4HMF954" isn't incredibly easy to remember.  So instead, I propose we call everyone's mothers up and get them to tell us something embarrassing about them.  "Bedwetter" or "Wrote letters to Lisa Loeb until he was 16" is much easier to remember than a bunch of random numbers and letters shoved on a piece of metal.  And we all know it's not going to be hard to get moms to spill the beans about their children.

(Where the heck did "spill the beans" come from as an alternative to "telling a secret"??  The only thing I personally can think of right now, is someone put an engagement ring in a can of beans and was having someone else carry it over to their dinner table as a surprise.  The person carrying the can of beans then probably tripped and the beans flew into a great white shark's mouth and everyone died.) **


*The night light as a monster repellent is funny because apparently the slightest bit of man-made light causes them to cease to exist, which if you think about it makes them incredibly un-scary.

**Of course, google has an answer for "spill the beans origin" but it's not funny whatsoever, and it's also not really that interesting anyway.  Actually, it doesn't even really explain how it got to mean "spoiling a secret".  So we'll just go with my version, and whatever else you can come up with- and go on being amused by the fact that "spilling the beans" implies something so far off from its literal meaning.