Sheepwhale or Whalesheep?

Even better than the office birthday is the office baby shower.  In an office where the ratio of women to men is 10:1.  And for all you bros out there thinking that "would rule", it doesn't.  Especially not when most of the women have already had babies and much of the talk ends up circling back to the birthing process.  Not what I want to hear.  Come to think of it, I'm confused as to why any of them wanted to hear it.
For those of you who are curious, it's called a baby shower because in the olden days, when a baby was just another mouth to feed, the women would gather round and shower each other with babies.  The ones that survived were the strongest, and therefore, had the greatest aptitude for pulling plows and other oxen-like behavior.  Fortunately, today, there was no showering.  Not even a sprinkle of baby.
I was fascinated to learn though, that there is a few standard games played at baby showers, such as "guessing how fat the woman is" and "pretend there's poop in a diaper" which is somehow a game that women enjoy because chocolate is involved.  I played "see how hard it will be to steer the conversation towards football"- and I lost.
Actually, I didn't play that game, because as with most large gatherings around tables, I talked to the two people I ended up sitting next to and every once in a while shouted something to the people who were there that I actually wanted to talk to.

When the gifts were given out, they were thoughtful gifts, and I have to say I'm a little jealous of babies being able to wear hilarious outfits- most of which are all one article of clothing.  I'd really like the ease of having a uni-shirt-pant-shock-shoe combo in one piece of clothing.  Especially if the feet were made to look like some sort of animal.  But alas, society has deemed this "weird" so I guess that's another trend I'll have to sit and wait for some hip kid or rockstar to start.
My favorite gift was a stuffed animal called the "Sleep Sheep" which was very much like it sounds, a sheep that made noises to help the baby sleep.
Only it was evil.

Haha!  It really looks like it's going to stab whoever offended it last in their sleep!

And to top it off, it made sounds like "heartbeat" and "whale".  The heartbeat was to simulate the mother's heartbeat while the baby is still in the womb but ended up sounding like Darth Vader, and the whale noise is so the baby....thinks sheep make whale noises?  I don't think the thought of some 150 ton jerk swimming around with that big creepy grin on his face is something that would help me get to sleep either!



So, in conclusion:  buy a Sleep Sheep.