Gillette Hates the Pacific Northwest

Greetings!  From intermittently sunny Seattle! (which is locally pronounced like it rhymes with "beetle")  The land of no shaving, or as I like to call it "the 3 1/2 day shadow".  Really, those Seattle hipsters were on to something.  Instead of just being known as lazy, they decided to make it a movement and call it "grunge".  It's my kind of place.  I think I'm going to wear some sweats out to dinner tonight.  Maybe I'll even bust out the one with the stain on it.  It's a terrible double-standard however, as the women in this city seem to be expected to have the decency to be groomed like a half-respectable human being.  Injustice rearing its ugly head yet again.*

Abe would have felt right at home in Seattle.**

Overall though, I have to say Seattle's been impressive so far.  It's the laziest big city I think I've ever been to, and I've been to a lot of them.  All the stores and shops close early, the streets seem almost eerily vacant, and even the danger factor seems low, which can only be attributed to lazy criminals.  It's the least hectic and stressful big city I've been to- maybe this could be attributed to all the men being so relaxed because of all the time and money they've saved not shaving.

Here in Seattle they seem to be very proud of the Orca, otherwise known as the Killer Whale, in the same way New York city is proud of the rat, otherwise known as the Garbage Squirrel.  But unlike New York, I haven't seen one walking the streets.  Highly disappointing, but I guess good, because if I was going to get shanked by any kind of whale, I bet it would be the Grey Whale. But the Killer Whale would probably be too busy eating a seal to do anything about it.  Lazy Seattle native at work again.

It's also funny how pumped we were when someone asked us a local sort of question.  I don't know why it always feel like you're super cool if someone mistakes you for a local.  Like you pulled off some sort of grand con.

And on a note unrelated to travel, someone over 40 asked me today where they "Could find the wi-fi."  Technologies' greatest achievement might be making the generations above me sound so ridiculous.  That will teach them to think they're so smart with their years of experience and accumulated knowledge!


*When something is "reared" why is it either an "ugly head" of something, or a child?  If it's an ugly baby being born, it could be both.

**Did Abe shave his mustache?  Or did it just grow that way?  CURSE YOU JOHN WILKES BOOTH!  NOW WE MAY NEVER KNOW!!