Send Out the Clowns

Does anyone actually like Clowns?
Let's run through the "comedy checklist"

White Greasepaint: Not funny
Giant neon colored hair: Not funny
Polka dot/striped jackets, ties, and pants: Combined: Not funny
Giant red nose: Funny (albeit briefly)
Giant shoes: Funny (albeit briefly)
Hula hoop pants: Not funny
"Extra mouth" makeup: Not funny
Triangles/Diamonds around eyes: Not funny

...hilarious right?  And this was one of the only semi-nice pictures of a clown I could find.  What's the difference between a happy clown and an evil one?

Apparently nothing.  Maybe sharper teeth.


So were clowns ever funny?  They must have been, there's a ton of them still to this day- or is someone pulling the greatest practical joke in the book by somehow getting us all to accept clowns as part of our society?  Now that would be funny.  I know our humor has evolved greatly over time, what with today's boner jokes and grown men drinking too much dominating the comedy scene, but was there a time when nobody could use words to be funny?  At least if you're going to be funny without talking, do some stuff like have a fat guy break a chair....looking at many different colors and having two gigantic body parts (nose/feet) had to have gotten old even back when they didn't have the internet to entertain us!  And there's a college for this?  What is there to learn?  Instead of Clown College let's just put out a Clown pamphlet. 
Now, I don't have anything against the people who dress up as clowns to entertain, their hearts have to be in the right place, I just think it's time we realize that we all think they're more scary than funny, and that sort of defeats the purpose.  So can we all finally agree to cut the charade and do better things with our time like training bears how to ride tricycles?  They can wear the big nose and giant shoes.