Sunday, December 12, 2010

TOP TEN DISCOVERIES MADE BY THE NEWLY SINGLE MAN

10. Belts are for the birds!*
9. "Cooking" involves pulling the lid off of a can of tuna to dip crackers.
8. Dinner consists of exactly the same thing and half a glass of orange juice.
7. Cleaning is forbidden.
6. Around the house, pants optional.
5. Everyone in the room likes whistling if you're the only one in the room.
4. Movies are much cheaper when you're only buying one ticket!  ...unless they're in worthless "3D" that adds nothing to the movie.
3. More oxygen and less carbon dioxide around equates to a much more pleasurable breathing experience.
2. Now no one will know that you love watching the Westminster Dog Show.
1. The crippling loneliness!







*Figuratively.....but can you IMAGINE??  My heavens.

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