Pyotr = Peter?

Last night I saw the movie "Black Swan", a movie that probably had Tchaikovsky spinning in his grave....because he was doing fist pumps so hard he liked it so much.  I told my Mom I liked it a lot, and she said she'd rather watch a movie about the ballet that was nice, that didn't have eating disorders and drugs and pain, she'd rather just watch the nice dancing.  I told her that's what the actual ballet is for.
Speaking of Tchaikovsky, I really do wonder how greats like him would feel about how their work is being used in the 21st century.  Would he enjoy it?  Would he just shake his head?  How would Leonard Da Vinci feel about the Dan Brown novels?  Well, instead of just taking up this space with conjecture, I thought we'd ask old Tchaikovsky himself!  Straight from the horse's (humans) mouth.

The following is a transcript.


ME: Mr. Tchaikovsky, thank you so much for being here to answer my questions.
TCHAIKOVSKY: Oh, please, call me Peter.
ME: No problem Peter.  Wow, your English is amazing.
TCHAIKOVSKY: Yes, well, it's all thanks to the power of a fake blog post.
ME: Indeed.  So- have you gotten a chance to see Black Swan yet?
TCHAIKOVSKY: No, not yet.
ME: Oh.  Well, that sort of defeats the purpose of you coming here, don't you think?
TCHAIKOVSKY: I guess so, but you could just write this again at a later date when I have seen it, or we could lie and say that I've see it.  I mean, you've seen the movie, right?
ME: Yeah...but,
TCHAIKOVSKY: So just make up some stuff for me to say.
ME: Eh, that's kind of dishonest, I don't really like my blog to be known for mislead-
TCHAIKOVSKY: ok ok, it was just an idea.
ME:  .....So.....what should we talk about then?
TCHAIKOVSKY: I dunno.
ME: Right.  Well, have-
TCHAIKOVSKY: Oh, I saw that Toy Story movie!
ME: Well, I don't know if that's really relevant, you're a classical-
TCHAIKOVSKY: Those toys!  Ha!  And that one, that "Buzz Lightman" or whatever his name was, what a cutup. 
ME: Yeah, they were pretty decent, what did you think of the animation?
TCHAIKOVSKY: Or we could talk about that In N Out burger, no wonder you Americans are all so fat!
ME: Yes.  So the 1812 overture, what inspired you to write such a powerful piece of music?
TCHAIKOVSKY: Eh.  Nothing really, I just had to make some money, so I threw that together.  Thought some cannons would be cool.
ME: That's it?
TCHAIKOVSKY: That's it.
ME: That's kind of disappointing.
TCHAIKOVSKY: Yeah.  It was your idea to bring me here.
ME: Well, what about the Nutcracker?
TCHAIKOVSKY: So wait- are they making any more of those Toy Story movies?  I only saw the one, but it was part 2.  That means there was a first one.
ME: Right.  There was one before that, and they just came out with a 3rd.
TCHAIKOVSKY: How were those ones?
ME: Pretty good.  I mean, once you've seen one, you've sort of seen them all.  But really, I'm surprised you liked it so much, I'm sure you didn't understand most of the toy references, and that's half the fun of the movies.
TCHAIKOVSKY: It's a children's movie.  Half the jokes are about someone getting hit on the head.
ME: So let's talk about some modern music.  What do you think of Lady Gaga?
TCHAIKOVSKY: Eh.  Some of the songs were pretty catchy.  That poker face one.  She seems pretty weird though.
ME: Yeah.
TCHAIKOVSKY: This interview kind of sucks, huh?
ME: A little bit.
TCHAIKOVSKY: Sorry about that.
ME: It happens.