Toothpaste is Not Paste Made From Teeth

What a night!  Wow, I just cut my way through a jungle of server 503 errors trying to reach this page- I'm relieved I finally made it to the "post" section, and I could bring this delight that I have planned to you guys.
I wonder if all five-hundred and two servers are making fun of 503 right now.  Although 504 seems to be acting up quite a bit too.  They just don't make 'em like they used to....eh, server 429?


While I was driving my classic '06 Hyunda Sonata today, I looked down at the speed-o-meter (this is how I've decided things that end in "ometer" should now be spelled and pronounced) and saw something:

 

I was driving with my doors open!!  At 0 miles an hour!!!  Thankfully my H and C meter was nearly at "tattered flag" which is exactly where you want it to be.  That and my

AIR

BAG

Light was on.  Apparently the people who designed this car thought that story needed 2 paragraphs.   That wasn't the thing I noticed though- I found the speed-o-meter to be amusing.  Why does this go up to 150 mph?  When and where would I be in a situation that would call for a 150 mile per hour getaway?  In a Hyundai Sonata?  The only thing I could think of is if I was trying to catch the roadrunner, found out he was going approximately 148 miles per hour, purchased a few ACME rockets, strapped them to the roof of my car and hung out the window with a knife and fork.*  I also don't think that I would be bothering to look down at my speed-o-meter should I be traveling at a speed twice that of what a normal person drives on the freeway.  And come on, Hyundai.  You've already got it at 150, why not keep the trend of using 20mph increments and put it up to 160.  Who's going to call you on that?

There's something else I'd like to point out:

 

Well, two things I'd like to point out I guess.

There's directions on toothpaste.  That, and the surface of a tube of toothpaste does not react well to the flash on my camera.
Since I wasn't able to get the entire directions, and I wasn't about to spend more than 30 seconds photographing a tube of toothpaste, here's what it says:

Directions -adults and children 12yrs. & older: apply at least a 1-inch strip of the product onto a soft bristled toothbrush.  Brush teeth thoroughly for at least 1 minute twice a day (morning and evening) or as recommended by a dentist.  Make sure to brush all sensitive areas of the teeth.

Ohhhhhhh.  So that's how you work a toothpaste!  I was wondering about that.  And here I had my toothbrush un-bristled all this time! 

Unfortunately though, I am not quite sure where the "sensitive area of the teeth" is.  Maybe the ....tooth...part???

Maybe for another post I'll call the number on the back of the toothpaste that says "Questions?" and ask them.






*Another Looney Tunes joke too soon?  Or was that a good job of tying this post back to another one?