Behemoth Donkey

What is Behemoth Donkey?
It is one of the most dichotomous beasts in all the land, sea, bird, and sky.
Is dichotomous a word?
Behemoth Donkey says it is.
Can Behemoth Donkey talk?
Only if it has something to say.
How long has Behemoth Donkey walked the earth?
Behemoth Donkey has levitated the Earth for grillions of years.  That is to say, much like the mighty hovercraft, Behemoth Donkey has floated around it for as long as it takes to grill many onions.  Grillions of years.
Is Behemoth Donkey just a huge Donkey?
Are you?
Behemoth Donkey is a majestic creature.
Many have saught the council of Behemoth Donkey, few have won.
Behemoth Donkey respects all man.
Yet despises all mankind.
When Behemoth Donkey makes a journey, only those closest to him know why.
Why he chooses to fly coach in an airplane, when the great beast could simply blink an eyelash and be wheremever he choose.
Is Behemoth Donkey dangerous?
Only in the way a hive of bees is dangerous to a daffodil.
Behemoth Donkey drinks neither air nor liquid,
but prefers his cola frozen.
Once Behemoth Donkey ordered a pizza
The pizza was cold so he didn't want to pay for it.
The only way Behemoth Donkey would pay for that pizza, he said, was if we called the store back and got another one delivered.
But it was during the playoffs, and the pizza guy was clearly exhausted.  He even mentioned to us when he delivered the pizza pies that it had been a really busy night and his coworker Annie had called in sick, though anyone that knew Annie knew she really was probably just watching some stupid reality show with her loser boyfriend.
So we really pushed for Behemoth Donkey to give the guy a break.
Behemoth Donkey towered over us
The way a Woolly Mammoth towered over a lego man with the backwards hat.
He refused to pay for that pizza. 
Behemoth Donkey's kind of a jerk.