Thank you, thank you everyone: it's great to be here after that weekend of nothing but driving:
I don't know where to begin- I had such a great time with all of you, but I guess I'll just start: Oh, I really should have written something (hold for laughter)
(fumble through jacket)
Oh, I did!
To the 152: You have intrigued me with your exit named "Dinosaur Point". It was really hard not stopping both times, what could be at Dinosaur Point? I think it's better I don't know, so I'm not even going to look it up online and find out. The mystery has to be better than whatever you actually are. ....right? See! It's so exciting!!
To the woman in the goldish/copperish sedan on the 152: Thank you, without you, I never would have realized how great all the other drivers in the bay area are in comparison to you. Those speed limit signs that said 60? You took those and you laughed right in their faces! So what if there were 15 people behind you freaking out and I had to get home to work with the internet guy! There were some great views of cows and grass, I'm sure you had good reason to go 40 miles per hour. (P.S. the gas pedal is the one on the right.)
Bay area drivers: Don't you think I'm letting you off that easy! GO. FASTER. This isn't the last you'll hear of me either.
Girl at the rental car place: Good for you, working 60 hours a week. Thanks for sharing that with me. your can-do attitude was inspiring to be sure. I hope you get that quesadilla you were hoping for ever so much.
To the guy at the pizza place a couple tables away from us tonight, thank you for eating your own boogers. I saw you pick, then you were hovering around your mouth for awhile trying to be discreet about it, but I know what happened down there. My brother saw it too the second time- don't worry- your performance was not for naught. I know you suffer for your art, but for those few moments, I want you to know it was worth it.
To the cop that wrote me a ticket today: You can pretend you didn't pull me over because it was a red sports car, but let's stop kidding ourselves. Also, thank you for not asking me for my insurance, because I left it in my hyundai.
And my stuff ....wow, my stuff. I left you in my parent's garage for so long. But your determination, your....perseverance ....is truly inspiring. Thank you.
Furnished apartment, you stunk- but you got the job done- and you were in a nice quiet little area of Palo Alto- I'm just a little bitter I was here for two months and didn't run into Mark Zuckerberg or Justin Timberlake once. I thought they lived right across the street from you when you moved here. Thank you for having ample parking out front though.
Last, but not least, to Southern California:
....what can I say that hasn't already been said? It's been real, it's been crazy, it's been....real crazy (hold for laughter, fight back tears, power through rest of speech) but you did it. You got us here- the bay area. Land of slow drivers, recycling, and poorly lit 30 year old shopping centers. I couldn't have done it without you. Your slightly sunnier weather, more successful sports teams, and more frequent fires have made me - no, made all of us here, who we are today. Thank you. Thank you a thousands times over, thank you.
I'm sure there's a MILLION people I forgot- but we'll be back- I promise!
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