They Tell Me to Leave a Message After the Beep, I Wonder Why They're Swearing at Me

This day and age cell phones are our number one form of long distance communication.  It has taken a little while, but I've noticed some groups emerging from cell phone users.  After being called there's:

The Never Pick Up
Not quite sure why, but the caller ID on this person's cell phone isn't good enough.  They have to wait and see if your MESSAGE is worth calling back as well.  Typically this person is not busy enough to the point that they would never have time to answer their phones

The Texter
This person rarely picks up, and usually your call is quickly followed by a "whats up" or a "saw u called" text message.  Then you, being a sucker, text back detailed information or plans, which was the reason you called instead of texting in the first place- to save time because you figure they would have picked up the phone if they were able to.  The exchange usually ends in a phone call when The Texter gets too lazy to continue the conversation via text.

The Doubler
For whatever reason, this person only answers their phone on the second try, this person could also be known as The Slowpoke or the Insta Callback because they take forever to get to their phones.  Typically you have to discover someone is an Insta Callback or Slowpoke before you realize they're a Doubler and you have to call them twice to get a hold of them.

The Liar
"Hey I'm busy let me call you right back".  This person says they will, but always somehow "forgets" to call back.

The No Check
Who knows why, maybe a traumatic event happened while checking a voicemail, but this person never checks the message you leave them.

The Comedian
They've set up a funny voicemail message and they want you to hear it.  Great.  Problem is, it's not funny six months later after the 50th time.

The Robot
If you've never called this person before you never know if you're calling the right number because they couldn't take the time to say "Hi, this is ____.  Leave a message."  The robot is also incredibly slow and not fun to listen to multiple times either.

The Blind Man
They say they "Didn't see your call" but you know they keep their phone with them religiously.

The No-Hands
This person refuses to just put the phone up to their ear like a normal person.  They need to have in a handsfree or have you on speaker every time, which means they're either distracted or incredibly hard to understand.

The Commuter
Don't bother trying to talk to this person when they're not traveling somewhere.  The minute they reach a destination, your conversation turns into a pumpkin and is over.

The Never-Ender
"I have to go" has no meaning to this person, they continue to talk as if you've never said a thing.

and finally,


The Multi-Tasker
Extremely hard to have a conversation with, talking to them could be considered a sport as you're constantly competing with kids, tv, shopping, or any other number of things that are incredibly distracting.

....or maybe I'm just a terrible conversationalist.