Please Stop Calling Things "Spooktacular"

Halloween is coming up on Sunday.  I have mixed feelings about the holiday- I'm not even sure if we should call it a holiday.  I think holidays should be something you miss work for.  Halloween feels more like an event than a holiday.  I've had good Halloweens and bad ones, but of course as a child nothing is more exciting than a holiday where you get to BECOME whatever you want, and get candy for it!
The whole "scary" thing I think is confusing for kids, because we spend much of our childhoods trying to not be scared and trying to talk ourselves out of things being scary.  "There's no monster in the toilet.", "I won't fall through those grates in the sidewalk in big cities." that kind of stuff.  Yet, here comes this day where we celebrate vampires and ghosts and witches and more recently, cartoon characters and pop culture people getting 15 minutes of fame.  Although I guess that last one IS pretty scary.

I remember being younger and being so excited for whatever costume I was going to be.  A vampire, a Ninja Turtle, a baseball player, and the Penguin from Batman. (the Burgess Meredith version- I don't know why, of all the things I could be that was the one that appealed to me.  Apparently the purple top hat, monocle, umbrella, and a long cigarette holder are enticing to an 8 year old.)

Who wouldn't want to dress up as this?

The thing about Halloween- and I think this still holds true today- is it's a lot like going to a buffet after you haven't eaten in a while.  You pile on an extra helping of hash browns, a few more scoops of fruit, and one roll too many because your eyes are bigger than your stomach.  In this case, for Halloween, all you can think about is the presentation of the costume.  How's it all going to look?  Nevermind that after 3 houses and 5 minutes walking you realize wearing fake plastic teeth is uncomfortable, you're hot in your green ninja turtle sweats, your baseball helmet is falling off because it's too big, and the stage glue that's keeping your fake penguin nose on smells funny.  Halloween costumes aren't meant to impress other people, they're meant to make us all uncomfortable.  That's why I think we should just make signs that say "dinosaur" or "Sponge Bob" and let everyone use their imaginations.  That's what the holiday is all about, anyway.  Well, that and pagans throwing their slaughtered livestock into bonfires.