TWO FLOWERS, DEMETRI AND ARTEMIS ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN A PATCH OF DIRT NEAR A SIDEWALK
ARTEMIS: Hey Demetri.
DEMETRI: Yeah Artemis?
ARTEMIS: Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the park?
DEMETRI: No.
ARTEMIS: One was assaulted.
DEMETRI: ...ohhh, like it was "a salted". That's pretty good, heh heh.
ARTEMIS: ....what do you mean? "pretty good" how?
DEMETRI: It's a pretty funny joke is all.
ARTEMIS: Joke? The peanut was mugged, Demetri. Brutally beaten and robbed. He lost 150 dollars, needed 16 stitches, and suffered a collapsed lung.
DEMETRI: Oh. (long pause) Right. (Long pause) Because I thought....I thought it was just a joke. The way you worded it....
ARTEMIS: Yeah, I could see how you'd think that. No joke though.
DEMETRI: ....and the fact that there were peanuts who could walk, I thought it was just a bit of fantasy.
ARTEMIS: We're two talking flowers.
DEMETRI: Yeah, but we can't walk though. I didn't even imagine if they were capable of walking that they'd have lungs. I guess that makes sense though. So where did they take him? Is there a peanut-specific hospital? Or did he just go to a human one?
ARTEMIS: No, he went to Bellevue.
DEMETRI: Yeah. (thinks for a second) That's really ironic. Artemis, why didn't I get to pick my name?
ARTEMIS: That's just how it is. And don't think I didn't get the irony in you using the word "pick".
DEMETRI: I'm not really sure what you're talking about- but of all the things we don't have control over in this world; what we look like, where we live, what job we get, who our family is-
ARTEMIS: You do get to choose those things. Or at least parts of all of them.
DEMETRI: Maybe you're right, but I'd like to have my own name- or at least have one that fits who I am. My parents just thought a few random sounds strung together sounded good, so that's what I have to respond to the rest of my life? I think when we become adults we should be named based on who we are.
ARTEMIS: When do you become an adult?
DEMETRI: When you're not a kid anymore.
ARTEMIS: Well then a lot of people would be named "Video Gamer" and "Defeated by the Real World, so Back to School we go!"
DEMETRI: Hey, law school was a viable option for me, I wanted to make a difference.
SUDDENLY, A SIX YEAR OLD WALKS UP WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS AND SETS DEMETRI ON FIRE
ARTEMIS: (genuinely sad) I'm sorry that happened to you Dem- .....Ash Face.
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