Hi there, hello! How's everybody doing tonight?
Let's see what's going on in the news:
TSA has decided to pat down customers and violate them!
It is perverted.
Former President George W. Bush is in the news!
He is considered to be stupid.
Former President Bill Clinton did something!
He is unfaithful to his wife.
Something happened with marijuana!
And it made everyone lazy and/or hungry.
_____ form the reality TV show ____ did _____!
They are pathetic, untalented, and we are better than them.
Those republicans are at it again!
They can be very closed minded.
Those democrats are at it again!
They did not get something mundane done that an every day person could.
Those liberals are at it again!
Example of taking something to an extreme.
A fast food company came out with a new product!
Fatty foods make people fat and cause heart attacks.
Larry King!
Is old.
Oprah!
Is powerful.
Local losing sports team made news!
They lose all the time, here is an extreme scenario.
We've got a great show tonight, Dave Coulier is here, with musical guest, Squirrel Nut Zippers!
Stick around, we'll be right back.
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