Lone Wolf

"I'm a lone wolf.  I traverse the wilderness alone, coloring both inside AND outside the lines, sometimes I sharpen my crayon with the sharpener that's on the back of the box that doesn't work very well, sometimes I just throw the crayon away and use a whole different color.
People see me and they think "stay away".  They know I'm a lobo who is a honcho that likes burritos.  And when I order my burritos, I order them full of life.  Because don't get me wrong, there's a dark side, but inside that dark side is a heart filled with charity.  And that's an extra heart that's on the dark side.  There's still one on the regular side.  That one's just a regular heart though, just pumps blood and stuff.  It's a good heart though.  Ran a bunch of marathons with it.  Solo marathons.  No relays.  Lone wolf, remember?  I'm like a soaring eagle....no wait, that's too much.  Still a wolf.  But imagine a wolf that howls AND makes that eagle noise. 
I'm also the big cheese.  But again, still a wolf, just using the expression that means large and in charge.  Regular size wolf though."
-And that's what I told the lady who asked me why I was waiting in line in the supermarket in a checkout lane with no cashier at the register all by myself for ten minutes.