ARCHIBALD:Remember when we were kids? The best incentive our teachers could give us was the promise of a pizza party.
BIXLEY:What's so great about a pizza party?
ARCHIBALD:Right. But we all bought into it. If we read enough books or sold enough wrapping paper or whatever else we were scammed into, and we got that pizza party, we'd all go nuts!
BIXLEY:Yeah. Simpler times. Hey Archie-
ARCHIBALD: I asked you to call me Archibald. That's my name, it's what I prefer.
BIXLEY: Jeez, you don't have to be so curt.
ARCHIBALD: Did that come across as curt? I'm sorry, it's just there's no nice way of saying that. But what am I supposed to do? Be called by a name I don't like for the rest of the time we know each other?
BIXLEY:Arch is way easier to say.
ARCHIBALD:I know, it's two whole syllables less. You have to make your mouth work to get it out.
BIXLEY:Hey Archibald, do you think we'll enjoy being eaten?
ARCHIBALD:That's a great question. I mean, you'd think that was our entire purpose in life, but yet, the whole "being devoured" thing is a pretty gruesome prospect.
BIXLEY: Right. That's why I asked.
ARCHIBALD:I'm bored. This is what purgatory must be like. Just sitting here all day long, having no purpose, no direction, not knowing what your life is for.
BIXLEY: Then what do you think hell is like?
ARCHIBALD: The same, just with more fire.
Suddenly, a HAND reaches in and grabs ARCHIBALD, then shoves him into a mouth, where ARCHIBALD is devoured.
BIXLEY: Off to the big pizza party in the sky.
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