Yes, your honor. I'll admit to it. I went crazy. I killed them. I killed them all. But I don't think you can blame me. Why did I do it? You would do it too, if you were one of us. Being made fun of your whole life. Everyone acting like you're not even there. Not giving you any of the credit you really deserve. Well now, they're going to know. That's right, KNOW. Not "Ka-No". It's not "Ka-No". And do you know why? Because that K is a SILENT LETTER. Well you know what?? I'M NOT GOING TO BE SILENT ANYMORE. That's right! I got sick of the K in Kangaroo getting all the credit. So I offed him. And I wasn't alone. You think the P from pneumonia didn't have a motive to help me out? "What? You spell pneumonia with a P? That's so stupid. "Pa-new-moan-ya"?" Yeah. He's heard that every. day. of his LIFE. So he gave me the intel. You see him and the P from Puppies used to be real tight, before P from Puppies changed. Started acting like he was better than us. So P from Pneumonia got us the blueprint to his Panic Room. We knew that's where he'd go after we got the G from Gnome to break into his house and set his pantry on fire.
So go ahead, throw me in the slammer. I've got H from Herb and P from Pterodactyl working around the clock on plans to bust me out- and nobody is more motivated than those two guys. When there's no point to your life- to your job- to the thing that defines who you are, you have nothing to lose.
So I'll be seeing you judge- all of you, I'll be seeing real soon.
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