Dale Grundane

  Hi there, pleased ta meetcha.  Name's Dale, Dale Grundane- "The Great Dane" they call me.  Ha ha.  How're ya doing today?  Wonderful!  Wonderful!  Listen, I'll cut right to the chase here, I'm here to sell you some toast.  That's right, toast.  The crunchy warm bread that comes out of a toaster.  "Now Dale...." you must be wonderin', "why wouldn't I just make my own toast?"  Right!  Why wouldn't you?  Because toast is made down here, in the heart, not up here, in the brain- and let's face it- some folk just ain't cut out for toast makin'.  You got yer slightly overcooked, your very overcooked, and your not cooked enough toasts- and the types of bread you see people usin' these days!
Why'd I get into the toast business you ask?  For the women.  You may be thinking there's no women in the toast business- but you would be wrong.  No, you'd actually be right, heck, ask my ex-wife Trudy.  You can't ask her, of course.  She left me.  She left me because I wear suspenders under my shirt.  Trudy hated suspenders, bless her heart.  And her long, flowing hair.  I miss that hair, really I do.
Say!  I wrote a song about toast- here goes:

It's not a long way down
without a long way down
It's not a piece of my heart you take
It's a piece of toast I make
Toast toast toast toast toast.

I've got a grandson.  He doesn't like suspenders either.