Mad Scientist

Hello, thank you for coming down to corporate headquarters today, I know it was a little ways off of your daily commute.  Please, have a seat and shut the door behind you.

Now....there's no easy way to say this, but - I think we've made a mistake.  Now normally we'd just have your manager let you go, but I felt like this one was on Evil Inc. as a corporation, not just on Marty. 

Why?  Well Dr. Diabolico, we feel that you misrepresented yourself a little bit on you resume and in your interview.  Take you name, for instance.  Dr. Diabolico- it sounds great, a lot like Diabolical, just with an O, but only after we hire you, do you tell us it's Italian in origin and not pronounced anything like the word diabolical.  You could have told us this, Dr. -we mispronounced your name several times in the interview, and Marty mentioned he even did it on your phone screen.

But it's not just the name, of course.  There's the actual act of being a mad scientist that you've failed to come up short on.  When we asked you to go out and terrorize citizens, you jumped out from around corners and started shouting complex chemistry problems at them, while we were thinking something more along the lines of...say a freeze ray that puts city hall in a big block of ice.  What you did was more angry scientist rather than mad scientist, do you see the difference?
No, Dr. Diabolico, it's not just semantics.  That truck full of caged monkeys were sent to you so you could infuse them with our Evil Inc. brand hypno-virus, but instead we just have footage of you kicking them around your lab.  Again, more angry than mad scientist.  And a mad scientist would have had gotten a terribly malformed vengeful man or built some sort of a killbot for his lab assistant, instead you hired an undergrad from State and just complained to her all day about your ex-wife. 

Frankly, I'm not sure how you managed to get your degree from Death Hill University, I know the dean there and I'm going to have a word or two with him about this.

You will be compensated with a half-decent severance, and your benefits will run through the end of the month.  We do ask that you be out of your lab by the end of the day though.

Of course.  I'm sorry it didn't work out too.  Although, a word of advice, moving forward, a real mad scientist would have vowed revenge on us all rather than shake my hand and thank me for the opportunity.
My secretary will show you out.