I've been logged as "water". ...waterlogged? eh? eh?? eh.

I went swimming this weekend, something I loved to do before I was an adult.
Then suddenly, I got a job and swimming wasn't fun anymore.  I'm not sure how that works.  But after slathering on smelly cold sunscreen (and still getting burned anyway because I missed a spot on my shoulder) I put on my only remaining pair of board shorts that fit anymore- ones that had that weird net in them instead of underwear or nothing....and why a net?  What am I trying to capture?  Or keep from escaping?  The net always has and always will be unsettling to me.  And when did it happen that a bathingsuit turned into a swim suit that turned into swim tunks that turned into board shorts?  I was not consulted on any of these name changes, and they've all happened within my lifetime!  Anyway, after that harrowing ordeal, I took the plunge.  And immediately jumped into what must have been a vat of chlorine because my eyes felt like I had been the one kid in Chemistry class who needed that weird looking thing that washes your eyes out but looks like an oxygen mask for a ventriloquist dummy.  After somehow retaining my vision, my hearing was the next sense to be assaulted as my ears became immediately clogged.  This never happened when I was younger, but now whenever I go swimming I can't hear out of one ear for at least the next day.  Maybe responsibility makes you retain water.  After eating dinner and singing happy birthday (which I was very much on key for seeing as I was able to do the equivalent of putting my hand over my ear while I was singing, only this time it was water inside of it) I went to get some magic potion at Target that "clears your ears of water"!  Too good to be true!  As I was following the instructions and tipping the bottle over to drop this wizard's fix into my ears I was thinking "Hmm...The fact there's water in my ears is bugging the heck out of me, maybe I shouldn't be pouring more liquid in right now...".  Of course, the whole hour it took to get home every band on the radio sounded like my neighbors three doors down attempting to cover 20 year old songs in their garage.  Thankfully, I jerked my head around like an idiot just enough to regain some audio.  Ahhh....summer!!